The Three Dads World Cup Wonderland

Today has been a mirror image of yesterday, with the first game looking like a 3rd/4th place playoff, and then the next match being the main event. First, South Korea got off to a flying start against an abject Greece. The Greek coach was obviously inspired by Blanco's fat appearance for Mexico yesterday, and decided to field eleven players in the same mould. An entire team of scrum-halves, chunky but small and no good at football. Argentina srcaped their way home (though could have won by five) against an otherwise impressive Nigeria. Their forward line is pretty mesmeric, but clearly there is the capacity to concede on a fairly large scale. In Heinze and Guttierrez they possibly have the worst pair of fullbacks their proud nation has ever fielded. Shock of the day was watching ITVs coverage of one of the mascots stood in the tunnel before kickoff, openly holding his penis. The cameraman lingered on the shot for far too long, put me off my lunch. Thanks to a genius bit of TV...

Martin Tyler had some kind of seizure this afternoon Stateside as he disappointingly tried to spring into a song as he announced one of the more memorable opening goals of a world cup finals....... I agree Birchy, not quite Cameroon v Argentina, but lets not burden the lowest ranked hosts ever with such lofty standards...... It does seem that we've both been watching the same games today, and I'm in agreement with a lot of your observations... South Africa: The most nervous and apprehensive start to a football game since Graham told Carlton not to do that Brilliant opening goal Less than sublime offside trap and the appearance that they had never defended a set piece in their lives Khune the goalie - I can't make my mind up. He treated the football as if it was made of molten lava, yet his hasty distribution would turn out to be the best defence splitting pass of the day Stevie P very quiet. Maybe that puts him closer to signing that Everton contract. Mexico: A very dodgy k...

So, it has all started at last and its safe to say that Group A has officially underwhelmed. I'm still waiting for an opening match to beat the Cameroon vs Argentina match in 1990. The BBC in its bizarrely inane and misguided commentary efforts (rarely are they made to look inferior to ITV) said that the teams all looked evenly matched! Not so. It looked pretty plain to me that even vuvuzelas won't save South Africa. Sure their goal was great, a fitting start to any World Cup, but they offered very little. They are athletic but lack talent (Pienaar aside Stevey). Mexico should have slaughtered them, and in not doing so have essentially consigned themselves to an early exit. And so to France v Uruguay, both former winners. Though it turned out to be pretty tedious, it was clear these two teams were a cut above. Uruguay sharp in their passing and potentially threatening, and France with their wealth of talent just waiting to come to life. The draw for these two teams was a go...

Martin Tyler and Efan Ekoku are my commentators for the opening game on ESPN.... not that I can hear them over the vevuzelas I'm getting carried away now, but Stevie Pienaar looks like a man on a mission (and I'm hoping that mission is beating Mexico single-handedly and not just engineering a big money move away from Everton this summer....)

A rather predictable Brazil - Spain final with Brazil winning England getting to the semis Uruguay as my surprise team to go late in the tournament Holland to look like world beaters early on, scoring goals for fun, but losing to Brazil in the quarters...

I filled in my World Cup wallchart this morning (which I have been banned form putting on the wall, so I have to fold it up and put it away after each furtive update). My chart has a section for predictions and in a bit of a hurry I completed it. The results I came up with were as follows: Winners: Spain Runners Up: Holland England get as far as: QF Total goals: [a bumper] 201 Total Red cards: only 7 (I reckon at least 3 of these will be in games involving North Korea)   In other news: My work colleagues are already calling me sad because of my 'radio-silence' email I am seriously considering buying a vuvuzela  (but it has, like the wallchart, been veto'd - I gotta pick my battles) I am beside myself about the imminent start of 'the greatest show on Earth

News that the Brazilian referee in charge for USA v England has been schooled in the top 20 English swear words which may cause problems for Wayne Rooney..... .... it appears that no one has stopped to think that Wazza hasn't really learnt to speak English yet...... so as long as the list hasn't been compiled by Jim Royle, we should be fine.

Japan have scored more goals for England than Emile Heskey has in the past 12 months. As a Villa fan, I find the stat less hilarious than most. However I think he did our defence a favour by injuring Ferdinand, and can only exceed expectations this tournament.

As ever I am beside myself with excitement about the forthcoming World Cup; and those that know me will be aware of my tendency to 'not do things by halves'. Since 1994, a happy combination of suitable time zones, total obsession and lenient annual leave arrangements has enabled me to pretty much watch every minute of every World Cup match throughout my entire adult life. South Africa 2010 provides three massive challenges to this established norm: • With South Africa and the UK effectively sharing the same time zone, matches are played during the afternoon and evening, thus ruling out the possibility to just sacrifice sleep for a month and watch during a night-shift – something which makes America's-hosted tournaments a cinch. • I have just got married, and a month in front of the television is not a traditional honeymoon period for the wife. • My current employer does not give me so much annual leave that I am able to take the necessary amount of time off and still h...

Famous for having a very ginger goatee in 1994. He also managed LA Galaxy, (yes THE galaxy), before getting fired after winning errrm, nothing. A fine CV in which to impart his wisdom. Welcome to ESPN's premier 'soccer' analyst for the next month here in the US. However, I am particularly excited by this development - a stroke of genius by the programming masterminds - in the space of about an hour, he has given me a month's worth of material..... "well, when you think about it, Bob Bradley has done as much as Fabio Capello in his career" "US to win 2-1 on Saturday, I see England getting out of their group but not sure after that" "but what kind of defensive message does this send to the players - I can't agree" (in response to a scarily great tactical suggestion by John Harkes - yes of Sheff Wed fame - to play Landon Donovan, the US' best player, behind the striker to exploit the fact that neither Lampard or Gerrard will ultimately...

32 teams, one dream, one winner and one bored man sidelined to the sofa for the next 6 weeks after knee surgery, gives you the birth of the 789,975th world cup blog in existence. Nil points for originality maybe, but with the aid of Birchy residing back in Blighty and myself ensconsed in enemy territory in NYC, we do have somewhat of a unique coverage of the at times hysterical punditry both sides of the atlantic as the tournament involves. Huge thanks to Birchy for getting this thing set up and his genuine excitement at actually doing this! And away we go......................