The Three Dads World Cup Wonderland

I'm watching on delay tonight, having amazingly avoided any spoilers this afternoon despite being in the company  of a thousand or more people at a festival. It really gets tense now, and whilst things might not be as end-to-end as they have been in the group stages, I'm still sure there's some great games to look forward to. Here's how I think the quarter finals will shape up: (Nb this may already be wrong as 1.5 matches will have been played before I post this!) France - I've just seen their line-up and think they have got their front three spot on. Mbappe is a real threat and Griessman feeding from Giroud makes sense. I do think they will grow ominously into the tournament. Uruguay - by virtue of actually being tough (track record of actual cannibalism in the World Cup), will win a deeply hostile match tonight. I predict a lot of foul play, loads of simulation, general bad tempers and some (probably historic) "red card VAR" reviews Spain - I...

Our Gareth. What a sneaky chap he is. He gave it the big chat about "momentum" and "will to win", before fielding a full b-side and laughing his way into the easy side of the draw. The big giveaway was in his post match interview, where he stumbled through the expressions of disappointment before knowingly declaring that "England fans know what is important". Fair play to him. The game was a friendly. I don't for a minute think we went out to lose. Neither do I think we specifically intended to win. The match looked like a training exercise where each player was briefed to get used to the system. Rashford specifically was tasked with shanking any chances wide; for fear of a QF clash with Brazil. Job done. Not only this, but we get a nice extra day's rest, and we all get to have a jolly good few lagers on a Tuesday night, which is much less naughty than doing so on a Monday. Kudos Gareth.

Well, evidently I didn't shake my crystal ball hard enough today. While I got the sense of an earth-shattering shock, I was looking in entirely the wrong direction. No tantrums, relatively limited rolling around - although frustratingly careless in front of goal - Team Neymar (aka Brazil) eased their way past Serbia with a minimum of fuss. I do wonder if the sloppiness in front of goal & Neymar's propensity to try to do too much, will catch them out further down the line... and a tough match awaits with Mexico. But for now they roll on... As do Switzerland, a dynamic and interesting team, who I want to spend the rest of this post talking abou...................AHHHHHHHHH, who I am kidding. THEY'RE OUT! GONE! No more! Die Mannschaft are going home, this early in the tournament for the first time since 1938. Superb stuff. Finally, after XX years of hurt, and too many cruel defeats at the hands of the German machine to mention, they've gone and pulled an England! Bo...

Well, not much to cover off on Argentina that Birchy didn’t mention. I didn’t quite expect the number of times we’d see folk flipping the bird. Clearly Robbie Williams set the tone early... and kudos to the ref. I had trouble sleeping last night just thinking about Mascherano going all ‘mental Terry Butcher’ chasing the ref demanding a penalty towards the end there....frightening stuff. Anyway, this is a quick post, and like the doommongers predicting the end of times, I need to get my prediction in just in case it actually happens. Brazil are exiting the competition today. There. I said it. My wallet predicted otherwise at the beginning of the tourney, but I like this Serbia team. The prospect of them upsetting the Samba boys today is very, very real. An early-ish goal and then temper tantrums galore from Neymar and co...maybe this was what Maradona was trying to tell everyone last night....

"Moses departs the Messi!" was going to be my stunning arrival into top-flight journalism, before Rojo popped up with that stunning winner. Maradonna gave it the double bird and like that my dreams (and Nigeria's too) we're in tatters. What a game though. A thoroughly emotional atmosphere in the stadium, great anthems with Nigeria belting out theirs and the Argentina fans doing likewise whilst their players, to man, gave it the "fully focussed" death-stare. It was obvious we were going to get redemption from the France v Denmark snore draw. Even Maradonna was pumped, so much so, that I rather suspect he's spent a few days at the Russian training facilities that Stevie has talked of. He was proper rolling! Messi scored that great goal, and things looked better for the Argies for a while, until Mascherano and his one man calamity  crew gave Nigeria a lifeline. The last 30 minutes was just a breathless exchange  and it was truly anyone's game in t...

In my obliviousness to Fifa’s money making machine, I completely missed the fact that my links to Mr Perez Navarro’s commentating skills were blocked to UK users due to tv rights..... booo. While petitioning Parliament may be the right thing to do, I instead just looked long and hard through the YouTube vault. The only thing I found, was this It’s only 8 seconds, you’re missing out sadly...

Blimey, Definitely did not think that my next post would be after watching a masterful English walloping of Panama, while soaking in a joyous heatwave in the motherland, making the grim north feel like the south of France.... the “Hope-ometer” reading is now almost at Italia 90 levels. Sure, the opposition was a team just happy to be there - evidenced by the wonderful reactions to their goal - but quite the rarity to see an England team dispatch a minnow as professionally as they did. There are still cautious tones to be heard. Harry can’t finish off his hat-tricks by simply getting in the way every game, and channeling my inner Gareth, I refuse to get too carried away just yet. I am extremely intrigued on how loose Mr Southgate is going to get by the end of the tournament. Right now, he continues to persist with the waistcoat like a best man who has been told to hold it together as there’s still some official photos to be taken. I’m starting to visualize a July evening in Moscow w...

The sixteen chair challege has begun. And four of them are already taken. A chastened Russia team sits alongside a chastened Spain, a chastened Portugal and increasingly menacing Uruguay. Not winning matches seems to be very much in Vogue, with good teams either out of form or expertly pacing themselves, depending upon who you believe. And second seems to be the new first, as all of the expert/out-of-form teams all allegedly want to come second in their groups to avoid the 'tricky side of the draw'. Russia, surely aided by Putin's presence in the VAR studio for Iran's battle with Portugal almost stole a last 16 clash with Iran. What a game that was, though I was ready to call conspiracy  if Iran had somehow won, topped the group, and then gifted Russia a bye to the quarters. Amongst the swinging of fists, managerial strops, playacting and refereeing meltdown, the group finally settled into an as you were state and Russia instead face a brutal clash with Spain on so ...

I was convinced the German team would recover emphatically. Their opening game was an aberration, and whilst they were poor defensively, they created enough chances to win a handful of games. So against a threat-less Sweden, I was sure normality would return. Yet Saturday night’s game so nearly turned the footballing world on its head. I think the only surprise when the ball tore into the net in the 95th minute was that it wasn’t an England keeper disconsolately picking the ball out of the net. Kudos to Germany, back from the brink. If they solve their defensive Kuddelmuddel (one of their great words that means a phrase “unstructured mess, chaos or hodgepodge”) then they will yet again be a force to be reckoned with. Speaking of forces; er, England?! None of this cagey group stage malarkey going on. Boom, into the last 16 with the tournament just 9 days old. Kane is off down to Timpsons for some golden coloured shoe polish. What a result and what a great performance, admittedly...