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Auf Wiedersehen, Pet


Well, evidently I didn't shake my crystal ball hard enough today. While I got the sense of an earth-shattering shock, I was looking in entirely the wrong direction. No tantrums, relatively limited rolling around - although frustratingly careless in front of goal - Team Neymar (aka Brazil) eased their way past Serbia with a minimum of fuss. I do wonder if the sloppiness in front of goal & Neymar's propensity to try to do too much, will catch them out further down the line... and a tough match awaits with Mexico. But for now they roll on...

As do Switzerland, a dynamic and interesting team, who I want to spend the rest of this post talking abou...................AHHHHHHHHH, who I am kidding. THEY'RE OUT! GONE! No more! Die Mannschaft are going home, this early in the tournament for the first time since 1938. Superb stuff. Finally, after XX years of hurt, and too many cruel defeats at the hands of the German machine to mention, they've gone and pulled an England! Bottom of their group, but more telling - that is precisely where their play deserved. They have stunk the place out since Game 1. Lacking shape, a true front man and an uncharacteristic shaky defence. There's no hard luck story to look back on here, and they provided some fine memories in their final appearance:

  • Having been stuck in the car for the game, I was treated to an embarrassingly excited Chris Sutton shouting at me through my car radio and laughing with ZERO professional commentator filter as he urged Son to walk the ball in the net for the second. I'm not sure I would vouch for his 'game insight', but if you're looking for 100% biased gloating, Chris is your man! 
  • A great performance from the South Korea goalie, pulling off some great saves during the game
  • A fantastic knack of making sure all of their best chances fell to their centre half who was clearly never going to score, even if he stayed on the pitch for a warm-down. 
  • The jewel in the crown for VAR at this tournament. A sublime pick up for the first goal that was simply impossible to catch in real time. Toni Kroos coming through with the assist, perfectly nutmegging his teammate. The end result... the best VAR induced delayed celebration in history! (ok, it's a short history... but). The Koreans, already out and with nothing to play for, went bonkers after the final reveal as if they had just won the Price is Right: South Korea score!!!
  • And finally, and this won't sail from the memory for a while.... a mind-blowing brain fart by Manuel Neuer. After standing between the sticks watching 270 minutes of cr@p in front of him, he decided to take matters into his own hands, leaving his goal unattended so he could help his desperate teammates. However, while most keepers do the common thing and charge up front, Manny saw the game differently, slotting into the left wing-back role. Bizarre. (It didn't end well!)
 And that's it. But it may well be that the Germans' have the last laugh. With the deckchairs out, waiting for the second round to come, England are now faced with the almighty dilemma that a 2nd place finish (via defeat to Belgium) would throw us into the 'easy' side of the draw. Even having exited the tournament, the Germans have played with our minds once more. I say go for it against the Belgians, and take whatever comes... the minute we start to think about any side of the draw being 'easy', is when we will need to start packing our bags for home...

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