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The England Squad

We're just days away from the start of the tournament now, and before my pre-tourney preparations turn to important issues such as managing necessary work-day radio silences, who to put a few quid on  and optimal wall-chart placement, I first need to share my thoughts about the squad.

What a blessed relief it is to see a squad with no names on it that make me want to puke. Lazy, injured, smoking Wilshire? No, left out. Hapless Joe Hart? No, left out. Lallana flicking his hair on Nivea ads at half time? No, left out.

Southgate has achieved something I thought impossible in modern football, he seems to have picked a likable squad! And at a time when I am somewhat hating the sport (see all Villa-related headlines in the past 3 weeks, and our general form since 2010 for reason why)

So, let's hit this player by player:

1. Jordan Pickford - no real surprises here, he seems to have played his way into the first XI recently. I've not seen that much of him, but seems reliable. That said, I've been worried when I have seen him that he might not be that tall. Shay Given came to mind, and a wikipedia search later confirms they are both the same height - on the short end for a keeper. Prepare yourselves for nervous times at set pieces. 

2. Kyle Walker  - a shoe in. Fast and seemingly more cultured now he is under Pep's watchful eye.

3. Danny Rose  - our natural left back choice, he contributed to the likable and relatableness of the squad by talking honestly about anxiety. 

4. Eric Dier - he seems like a modest, talented and non-dickish sort too.

5. John Stones - hold on a minute, we seem to be selecting footballers, might we enjoy lasting possession?

6. Harry Maguire - ah that's better. It is nice to have a rugby built centre-half

7. Jesse Lingard - ok, so this one challenges my claim of liking the squad, but he seems to play in a more free spirited way for England than he does under the shackles of Morinho, so I will offer him a pass.

8. Jordan Henderson - I've a horrible feeling that he did some Nivea advertising also? I think Lallana is nicer to look at. Yuck.

9. Harry Kane - a player that I insisted was a one, then two then three-season wonder. I expect he feels a lot of pressure, as he could be a massive player in this tournament. My wallet fancies a flutter on him being golden boot winner. 

10. Raheem Sterling - squad scapegoat, I feel equal measures of sympathy and contempt. I just hope he has his shooting boots on. 

11. Jamie Vardy - I'm excited about Vardy, especially as he's likely to be a threat from the bench/ 

12. Kieran Trippier - solid, if unspectacular.

13. Jack Butland - I'd be equally happy with Butters between the sticks

14. Danny Welbeck - charmed career that this ghuy has had, he does seem to save his best for England, but in a tournament that boasts the likes of Falcao, Lewandowski, Suarez, Messi and Griesmann, it is somewhat sad that Danny boy represents England's most statistically potent weapon

15. Gary Cahill - pleased he made it. All part of the ex-Villa theme [when we were good] that Southgate has tapped into - (see also Walker, Young, Delph)

16. Phil Jones - see Trippier

17. Fabian Delph - I actually like the way he plays at left back, could also bolster midfield

18. Ashley Young - I also like the way he plays at left back, offers versatility/options

19. Marcus Rashford - explosive, I hope we use him, but sparingly. I think he will have good impact

20. Dele Alli - I think his form might be returning at the right time

21. Ruben Loftus-Cheek - I've seen him play for about 4 minutes, but looked ok 

22. Trent Alexander-Arnold - energy

23. Nick Pope - absolutely fine as 3rd choice. He'll have a laugh.




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