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Next round please barman!

Not quite sure what I have been doing with my days, but I need to catch up on a few games...

Holland v Denmark
Japan v Cameroon
Italy v Paraguay
NZ v Slovakia
Ivory Coast v Ronaldo
Brazil v Kim Jong-il

Firstly, tomorrow marks the first of the second group games and THANK GOD. I've had my fill of tight "too afraid to make a mistake" cagey low scoring nonsense... I'm ready for the show to really start....

The Dutch did enough in their toughest group game, but didn't overly impress and got lucky with one of the finer examples of "twenty pence head" by Poulsen for Denmark for the opening own goal. Denmark could be a sleeper team - they have a strong defence and just need Bendtner to have one of his one every twenty games amazing performances and they could surprise.

Stat of the day: Japan became the first team for a lot of years to win a world cup game without winning a corner kick. Not sure what is more depressing, the actual fact or that someone actually had that stat to pull out from somewhere.....

Cameroon were very poor, and its looking like this world cup will be a short one. The only highlight for me was Assou-Ekotto sporting a 'Jason Lee' pineapple haircut (not 100% carbon copy, but closest yet so far this world cup). Also, his label was sticking out of the back of his shorts the entire first half. Now, in this day and age of image conscious players, it just did not sit comfortably with me. Even more galling was that he reappeared for the second half with it STILL hanging out. Surely one of his teammates should have let him know at half time....I just hope his mother wasn't watching.

Italy were Italy. Opening game, looked devoid of ideas and quite old. That's them in the final then.

Paraguay - strange. They looked terrible, as if they smoked 40 a day - they seemed a yard off the pace and unable to sprint more than 10 yards or so, yet almost beat the world champs. I'm hoping that this was purely down to the fact their gameplan was to defend - they certainly were organised. Definite weak group though - looks good for Dutch in second round.

NZ v Slovakia: Missed majority of this game - sorry, just can't do these early games just yet. At least we finally saw some drama.... see my Lalas update for my other highlights.

Ivory Coast I thought looked OK, although weird to see Sven sitting on the bench.... hope I'm proved wrong, but looks a little desperate throwing Drogba on with his broken arm.

Step aside France, Portugal are my number one team to cheer against this summer. Maybe it is all the past tournament results that still wrankle, but this shower are terrible and are clearly relying on Ronaldo to fall over near the penalty area and then score the free kick. As for Cristiano, we saw it all today - perpetually complaining about something, getting a player booked for a foul when he dived, getting nothing when he was sandwiched by 3 players, a sublime goal of the tournament effort that hit the post and then a dreadful free kick that sailed wide. I'm just not sure I can put up with all the other stuff to wait for his moment of genius.

Finally Brazil. They did enough, just. Ten minute spell in the second half and they looked like the Brazil of old. However, since my early days I have marvelled at the brilliance of the Brazilian players in true awe of these mystical characters.... somehow, it just didn't feel right to be thinking after their second goal, (assist by Robinho, goal by Elano), "not bad, but they went a bit shit at Man City". Just not very Brazilian.

Highlight of the day: The sheer DIDYOUSEEWHATJUSTHAPPENEDISCOREDAGAINSTBRAZILINTHEWORLDCUP!!! joy written across the face of the North Korean Ji Yun-nam after his 89th minute goal against the samba kings. The bloke looked like he'd just saved himself from a firing squad back home or something...... hmm, moving on.......

Crazy North Korean rumour of the day: That the North Korean fans in the stadium were not actually North Korean, but Chinese actors paid to attend as NK fans... love it.

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