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It’s a knockout!

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It’s fair to say, and not down to being lost in the hyperbole of the moment, the group stage of this World Cup has been one of the best ever. As evidenced by the pure fact we saw more people flipping the bird than we did 0-0 draws. Superb stuff.

It would be remiss however to not briefly dwell on the slow and unnecessary encore towards the end of the show on Thursday. First you had Japan and Poland pretend to want to play an actual match the same way Mrs C has pretended to be interested in all things World Cup. It’s maybe well intentioned with an admirable end goal, but it’s not remotely convincing. It’s hard to see Japan look any more interested when chasing Belgian shadows in the next game either.

Then there was Engerlund. Fair to say, Birchy yet again has called it 100%. A complete warm up game, and an almost perfect game of poker before Gareth played his Welbeck card when down 1-0. A complete tell that the England staff were already watching Columbia videos in the dugout. It also cleared up something that absolutely nobody was debating. England has a decent team, but about as much depth as a paddling pool. We knew this already, and it’s our estimation of the first team that has been upgraded to decent. All of our eggs are in the Kane basket. Please don’t break!

Onto the knockout stages. My pre-tourney wagers* meant France and Uruguay were my picks yesterday, but by no means did I see the 7 goal thriller coming (in the same way Mascherano “saw” Mbappe in the first half). A brilliant game, and perhaps a poignant changing of the guard. With both Messi and Ronaldo going out on the same day, it’s enticing to see if Mbappe is the real deal. Such is France’s inconsistency, you’re never quite sure, but I think Deschamps stumbled upon the right balance today, and can’t see him changing the team for the next game now.

Uruguay just keep on winning. I’m not sure they haven’t stopped yet either, looking ahead, nor has Suarez rolled around ridiculously for the last time. He seems to be the last player at the World Cup to realise the VAR has been rolled out, or is complete denial of the fact. The chosen one (or did he choose us?) hitched his shorts as high as they could go, but alas to no avail. And there was no need to invoke Fifa rule 127.2c, whereby extreme overindulgence of your new goatee results in defeat if the game is tied after 120 minutes.

Looking ahead, I’m closely aligned with Birchy on this, but see two close calls for the big guns. I have more faith in the Russian training lab. I see extra time in that one. And Brazil have a so-so record against Mexico, so that promises to be a classic. Croatia, Belgium and Sweden make it through. The latter do so because they somehow find another way to piss Ibrahimovic off by proving the sum of the parts is greater than the king. They’ve already outlasted Italy in qualifying and now Germany. I don’t see them being troubled by Shakeera’s hips.

Finally, England. I’m really worried about this one, Columbia are solid. I’m not going to call it, but the extra rest day means I avoid a conflict with a transatlantic flight, and will be crossing my fingers that Fox Sports have booked Jorge for the game.... “aaaaaaand Joooooooooordan Hendersoooon was nowhereeee...”  May ease the pain of an earlier than hoped exit


*the volume of tournament bets placed allows the author to cheer on any team at any given time of the tournament.

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