The Three Dads World Cup Wonderland

Having already googled the exact dates of the Qatar 2022 world cup, verified that for us stateside people it possesses the exact same annoying time difference as Russia, it's safe to say I am in stage one of world cup withdrawal. Yes, it is done with. And what a great way to finish, I heard the final described as the complete summary of the 64 game feast: Goals, own goals, goals from set pieces, VAR playing a prominent role and France - probably the most consistent team in the tournament - seeing things out to be crowned champions. Croatia can feel hard done by. Having finally turned up in their fantastic red and white checked kit, bizarrely not seen since their opening game vs Nigeria, they played some good stuff again, demonstrating the semi-final result was no fluke. The free kick for the first goal was a dive, and while I agree with Birchy on the penalty - borderline harsh is right - I can see how those of a Croatian persuasion think otherwise. What I would say is - while...

I'm huddled in my man cave again. Just me, two bottles of Old Speckled  Hen (one for each half), and the World Cup final. It is already a belter, with Croatia looking good in their gorgeous kit. As I type, VAR is making a dramatic return with Perisic's handball being reviewed by the ref.  And whilst it is borderline harsh, I think the ref has got the penalty call right. Perisic is rarely unaware of what he is doing, a wily and brilliant pro - so I'm pretty certain he batted that one away. Minutes before he scored a cracking equalising goal, a reminder of the positivity, directness and sheer will that set him and his midfield colleagues apart from England the other night. With three goals already, the final is looking like a fitting symbol of the tournament as a whole. The whole thing has just been excellent; the best I can remember in entertainment terms. Normally speaking, if some big teams get knocked out, the tournament suffers as a result. Not so this time - with big ...

For about two minutes of delirium as I danced around the room, jubilant 7 yr old on my back, at the sight of Trippier's free kick ripple the back of the net, the dream was on. This was really happening.... It didn't last long. It was about 3 minutes later that the texts of "we've scored too early" were being exchanged, and the gut wrenching began. The brutal nature of tournament football will always play with the mind - the missed chances - Kane from 3 inches out (sorry Harry, in this new VAR world, you can't hide behind the offside flag on that one!), the "if only"s are always going to be there - as the margins are so slim, simply the fact we held out for so long and there was only 22 minutes to go.... However, in the cold light of day, it all played out how it should. The team that included the world class players, who have more Champions League winners medals than Gareth has outfits beat the young inexperienced team who had already over-achiev...

Here in the UK the weather broke simultaneously with England players' and fans' hearts, upon the final whistle of their semi-final. A month of relentless sunshine and joy cracked suddenly, to be replaced by rain and a national sigh. The rain on my street was frothy, and I am convinced it is directly due to the sheer volume of lager that had been sent skywards just hours before when Trippier's free-kick hit the back of the net. At that moment and for the 30 minutes afterwards it all looked like it was going to be a dream. Sterling was running about and looking dangerous, we were making chances and Croatia looked off form. But then the creeping doom set in. We slowed. Croatia grew. They got more savvy. Modric was being all Modric, twisty and confident. He was playing like a man who knows a World Cup win will surely buy him immunity. Perisic was absolute class, wily, progressive and down-right dangerous. We slowed some more. As the game went on and on, it became like wat...

I'd love to go in chronological order of the quarter finals, recapping a disappointingly routine win for the French, and - for my money - the game of the tournament between Brazil and Belgium, but how can I..... when Chris Waddle is in tears, Alan Shearer  is singing into a breadstick and the watching nation are carelessly wasting a virtual tanker full of  beer  in the air as England continue to march on. (Although kudos to Leeds for applying some Yorkshire prudence for their lack of spillage!).  Even  Wrighty  is making us ignore his awful 'analysis' and an unhealthy obsession with Marcus Rashford while moonlighting from ITV, by demonstrating exactly where his Fox TV commitments rank against his desire to join in the celebrations. It is all delightfully surreal. By this stage of the tournament, Birchy and I have usually breathed a sigh of relief that England have departed - to finally end the torture, we've dissected all that is wrong with the game, a...

Another rewarding weekend in an amazing World Cup. I just had a game on Fifa 18 and quite by choice decided to recreate Russia vs Saudi, that seemingly dull encounter, that actually sparked the tournament off 3 and a half weeks ago. That's how hard the bug has bitten. The quarter finals, often blighted by fear and negativity, carried on in the same positive vein as the rest of the tournament. France and Uruguay played out an intense and tight encounter, which was tactically fun to watch. The absence of Cavani and his rock hard face was a deciding factor, as was Muslera's unfortunate throwing of the ball into his own net to put the tie to bed. Griesmann was too embarrassed to celebrate, and Uruguay bowed out. Then came the big one, Belgium and Brazil. It didn't disappoint. The Belgians, with their wall of hair midfield, looked the real deal, Hazard was out of this world, De Bruyne was allowed to go forward, and slapped in a gorgeous goal, and at 2-0 they were sitting v...

The only thing taking the shine off a genuinely sumptuous set of quarter-final matches (I'm giving England vs Sweden a pass here on the basis that it is a match containing England) is the fact that they are not being played on Saturday and Sunday (to enable working folk to drink them all in) - or alternatively to be spread over 4 days, with just evening matches, for the same reasons. Sure, we'd end up with one or two teams being unduly fatigued and disadvantaged by having less rest between matches, but it'd be more convenient for me. Consider that to be a recommendation for Qatar please, Mr Infantino. Tomorrow definitely presents the greatest threat to radio silence so far. But I have my plans in place and I will be leaving directly from my afternoon meetings, blindfolded and with headphones on, avoiding eye contact with the whole of Bristol before I get home. The two fixtures tomorrow are as exciting as any World Cup day  I can remember. A France team, flickering to life...

It’s not quite anarchy just yet in the England camp, but after a cathartic shootout victory, Gareth’s tie was very much askew. We’re on our way. Where to start? Well, let’s start with the positives: Aside from 10 seconds of panic at having to deal with a last minute corner, the England team were well organized and more impressively disciplined in the face of a rampaging Colombian team who looked like they had snuck into the alley behind the Russian team hotel and scored some discarded chemical waste. Make no mistake, their pre-match preparation had been watching endless replays of Beckham and Rooney receiving petulance-induced red cards. Hell, they probably threw in footage of Ray Wilkins throwing the ball at the ref in ‘86. The English lose their cool more frequently than Neymar changes his hairstyle. Just wind them up and they will implode. But we didn’t. Quite the opposite. We met the South American needle with a bit of our own while staying mostly within the rules of the ga...

Whilst we mostly expected Sweden and Switzerland to claw their way, in a battle of attrition, through their round of 16 tie, I don't think even the most damaged England fans really expected the 2.5 hours of utter torture that ensued last night. With Sweden the prize for progression to the Quarters, England and Columbia faced off last night, in a game I expected to be quite flowing and fun. How very wrong I was. After a bright start, with England bossing possession and looking generally threatening from set pieces, Jose Peckerman seemed to make a "99 call" and all hell broke loose. Refereeing leniency hit an all time high as Barios first got away with his double headbutt on Henderson and then later managed to do a two-footed stamp with no recourse. Falcao was at his angsty best, and tempers boiled over all over the place. In years gone by Scholes, Beckham, Gerard would all have lost their heads and places on the pitch, but the becalmed England team took it in their str...

It's half-time in the Sweden-Switzerland game, and so far it's met all of the expectations ahead of time. The world cup's equivalent of a Bournemouth v Watford. The prize at stake, a potential quarter-final match versus an easy English team. As apparently, that's how we're supposed to be thinking these days - how easy is the game after next? The last two weeks have apparently taught us nothing. Try asking Germany, Spain, Argentina, Portugal how easy their next game will be at the world cup.... Even the remaining teams have a cautionary tale to tell - Croatia crept past a fantastic performance by Schmeichel. Full of passion, fist bumps and paternal pride.... his son also had a good game. And then Belgium.... I almost had my diatribe on Roberto's coaching failings fully written like a BBC pundit on VAR, only to be weirdly outdone by an Everton alumni show. Bobby Brown Shoes made two influential substitutions, proving that while nobody likes the big haired wond...

The tournament has excitingly evolved over the weekend and there’s three main themes that have emerged enough to get my attention today. 1) First is the emergence of a two-tier competition. There is a real competition and a ‘plate’ going on simultaneously now. The “easy side of the draw” theory has reached a pinnacle of truth now that Spain have exited the competition, and there’s a genuine feeling now that England have a cracking chance of being losing finalists, as do the rest of the teams on their side of the draw. Did Southgate know he was essentially buying a Betamax when selecting his team for the Belgium game? I think we have truly got a great chance now of progressing all the way to the final. I’m not getting all silly about it – I am fully aware that we might be looking at vegetable-based photoshops of Southgate in the papers on Wednesday; but my feeling is that we can and will progress deep into the competition now. This creates its own dilemma for me personally. Do I ...

It’s fair to say, and not down to being lost in the hyperbole of the moment, the group stage of this World Cup has been one of the best ever. As evidenced by the pure fact we saw more people flipping the bird than we did 0-0 draws. Superb stuff. It would be remiss however to not briefly dwell on the slow and unnecessary encore towards the end of the show on Thursday. First you had Japan and Poland pretend to want to play an actual match the same way Mrs C has pretended to be interested in all things World Cup. It’s maybe well intentioned with an admirable end goal, but it’s not remotely convincing. It’s hard to see Japan look any more interested when chasing Belgian shadows in the next game either. Then there was Engerlund. Fair to say, Birchy yet again has called it 100%. A complete warm up game, and an almost perfect game of poker before Gareth played his Welbeck card when down 1-0. A complete tell that the England staff were already watching Columbia videos in the dugout. It a...

I'm watching on delay tonight, having amazingly avoided any spoilers this afternoon despite being in the company  of a thousand or more people at a festival. It really gets tense now, and whilst things might not be as end-to-end as they have been in the group stages, I'm still sure there's some great games to look forward to. Here's how I think the quarter finals will shape up: (Nb this may already be wrong as 1.5 matches will have been played before I post this!) France - I've just seen their line-up and think they have got their front three spot on. Mbappe is a real threat and Griessman feeding from Giroud makes sense. I do think they will grow ominously into the tournament. Uruguay - by virtue of actually being tough (track record of actual cannibalism in the World Cup), will win a deeply hostile match tonight. I predict a lot of foul play, loads of simulation, general bad tempers and some (probably historic) "red card VAR" reviews Spain - I...

Our Gareth. What a sneaky chap he is. He gave it the big chat about "momentum" and "will to win", before fielding a full b-side and laughing his way into the easy side of the draw. The big giveaway was in his post match interview, where he stumbled through the expressions of disappointment before knowingly declaring that "England fans know what is important". Fair play to him. The game was a friendly. I don't for a minute think we went out to lose. Neither do I think we specifically intended to win. The match looked like a training exercise where each player was briefed to get used to the system. Rashford specifically was tasked with shanking any chances wide; for fear of a QF clash with Brazil. Job done. Not only this, but we get a nice extra day's rest, and we all get to have a jolly good few lagers on a Tuesday night, which is much less naughty than doing so on a Monday. Kudos Gareth.

Well, evidently I didn't shake my crystal ball hard enough today. While I got the sense of an earth-shattering shock, I was looking in entirely the wrong direction. No tantrums, relatively limited rolling around - although frustratingly careless in front of goal - Team Neymar (aka Brazil) eased their way past Serbia with a minimum of fuss. I do wonder if the sloppiness in front of goal & Neymar's propensity to try to do too much, will catch them out further down the line... and a tough match awaits with Mexico. But for now they roll on... As do Switzerland, a dynamic and interesting team, who I want to spend the rest of this post talking abou...................AHHHHHHHHH, who I am kidding. THEY'RE OUT! GONE! No more! Die Mannschaft are going home, this early in the tournament for the first time since 1938. Superb stuff. Finally, after XX years of hurt, and too many cruel defeats at the hands of the German machine to mention, they've gone and pulled an England! Bo...

Well, not much to cover off on Argentina that Birchy didn’t mention. I didn’t quite expect the number of times we’d see folk flipping the bird. Clearly Robbie Williams set the tone early... and kudos to the ref. I had trouble sleeping last night just thinking about Mascherano going all ‘mental Terry Butcher’ chasing the ref demanding a penalty towards the end there....frightening stuff. Anyway, this is a quick post, and like the doommongers predicting the end of times, I need to get my prediction in just in case it actually happens. Brazil are exiting the competition today. There. I said it. My wallet predicted otherwise at the beginning of the tourney, but I like this Serbia team. The prospect of them upsetting the Samba boys today is very, very real. An early-ish goal and then temper tantrums galore from Neymar and co...maybe this was what Maradona was trying to tell everyone last night....

"Moses departs the Messi!" was going to be my stunning arrival into top-flight journalism, before Rojo popped up with that stunning winner. Maradonna gave it the double bird and like that my dreams (and Nigeria's too) we're in tatters. What a game though. A thoroughly emotional atmosphere in the stadium, great anthems with Nigeria belting out theirs and the Argentina fans doing likewise whilst their players, to man, gave it the "fully focussed" death-stare. It was obvious we were going to get redemption from the France v Denmark snore draw. Even Maradonna was pumped, so much so, that I rather suspect he's spent a few days at the Russian training facilities that Stevie has talked of. He was proper rolling! Messi scored that great goal, and things looked better for the Argies for a while, until Mascherano and his one man calamity  crew gave Nigeria a lifeline. The last 30 minutes was just a breathless exchange  and it was truly anyone's game in t...

In my obliviousness to Fifa’s money making machine, I completely missed the fact that my links to Mr Perez Navarro’s commentating skills were blocked to UK users due to tv rights..... booo. While petitioning Parliament may be the right thing to do, I instead just looked long and hard through the YouTube vault. The only thing I found, was this It’s only 8 seconds, you’re missing out sadly...

Blimey, Definitely did not think that my next post would be after watching a masterful English walloping of Panama, while soaking in a joyous heatwave in the motherland, making the grim north feel like the south of France.... the “Hope-ometer” reading is now almost at Italia 90 levels. Sure, the opposition was a team just happy to be there - evidenced by the wonderful reactions to their goal - but quite the rarity to see an England team dispatch a minnow as professionally as they did. There are still cautious tones to be heard. Harry can’t finish off his hat-tricks by simply getting in the way every game, and channeling my inner Gareth, I refuse to get too carried away just yet. I am extremely intrigued on how loose Mr Southgate is going to get by the end of the tournament. Right now, he continues to persist with the waistcoat like a best man who has been told to hold it together as there’s still some official photos to be taken. I’m starting to visualize a July evening in Moscow w...

The sixteen chair challege has begun. And four of them are already taken. A chastened Russia team sits alongside a chastened Spain, a chastened Portugal and increasingly menacing Uruguay. Not winning matches seems to be very much in Vogue, with good teams either out of form or expertly pacing themselves, depending upon who you believe. And second seems to be the new first, as all of the expert/out-of-form teams all allegedly want to come second in their groups to avoid the 'tricky side of the draw'. Russia, surely aided by Putin's presence in the VAR studio for Iran's battle with Portugal almost stole a last 16 clash with Iran. What a game that was, though I was ready to call conspiracy  if Iran had somehow won, topped the group, and then gifted Russia a bye to the quarters. Amongst the swinging of fists, managerial strops, playacting and refereeing meltdown, the group finally settled into an as you were state and Russia instead face a brutal clash with Spain on so ...

I was convinced the German team would recover emphatically. Their opening game was an aberration, and whilst they were poor defensively, they created enough chances to win a handful of games. So against a threat-less Sweden, I was sure normality would return. Yet Saturday night’s game so nearly turned the footballing world on its head. I think the only surprise when the ball tore into the net in the 95th minute was that it wasn’t an England keeper disconsolately picking the ball out of the net. Kudos to Germany, back from the brink. If they solve their defensive Kuddelmuddel (one of their great words that means a phrase “unstructured mess, chaos or hodgepodge”) then they will yet again be a force to be reckoned with. Speaking of forces; er, England?! None of this cagey group stage malarkey going on. Boom, into the last 16 with the tournament just 9 days old. Kane is off down to Timpsons for some golden coloured shoe polish. What a result and what a great performance, admittedly...

Well, I can't lie.... I am being beaten hands down by Birchy's dedication to the cause here. The return of the working week and a culture that does not include a quick scoot to the pub for a lunch "meeting" has proved quite challenging. What spare time I have had has been dedicated to watching, versus writing about, some top class world cup footie. However, a work from home day today, and even a screw up with my dentist appointment time favoured yours truly, allowing me to watch the end of the Brazil v Costa Rica game live (you would argue the first screw up was me actually scheduling the appointment during this game), I've been able to get back on track today. Soooo, a lot to catch up on: Winners: The very thing that makes him so annoying is what makes him so good. With an ego the size of Steve Bruce falling off a diet, Cristiano Ronaldo just seems to appear that he 100% thinks he is the saviour of all mankind... allowing him to actually play that way....

Croatia's crushing of Argentina last night announced the impending endgame for the group stages. They blasted a lack-lustre Argentina apart and earned their own passage into the round of 16. Messi was anonymous and I have to say that I am now preparing myself (possibly prematurely, given how it is not beyond the realms of possibility that Argentina still somehow progress) to sway into the 'Ronaldo is the best' camp forever. Messi, unlike his nemesis, is playing purely as an individual, with no influence or impact on his teammates. During the anthem he was in his own personal bubble, head in hands, contemplating - and it is a bubble he didn't break out of all game. Ronaldo in contrast, whether he's banging in hat-tricks or not, is a presence and an energy that fuels himself and the team mates around him. We'll see how it goes, but certainly an Iceland win today against Nigeria puts Argentina in greatest peril. Since I was last on, I watched future ex-Villa pl...

Round One of the group games is done, and so far I've been running my watching efforts more successfully than Germany has managed its efforts to progress through Group F. I've yet to be later to bed than midnight, thanks to a ruthless regime of radio-silence in the day and TiVo catchup in the evening. The pattern I've fallen into is to take in the first half of the lunchtime game, live, in a pub near work, and then to get the second half done shortly after getting home, whilst my son watches Sarah & Duck. This leaves just two games to knock off during the evening; which is a cinch. On Monday I went through the same agony and ultimate joy that England fans everywhere will have experienced about 2 hours prior to me.  I thought it was actually a decent and calm performance against a rugged and determined defence. The way the BBC commentary team lost their minds during the second half was  as if they just wanted us to fail. I spent the last ten minutes, cliche though it i...

On Friday lunchtime I left the office saying to my workmates that I'd "be watching 20 hours of footy then turning round and coming back". Having done the maths, I've watched 10 games, at 95 minutes a pop - thus totalling a glorious 950 minutes and weighing in at just short of 16 hours. Somewhere in amongst this I have also ironed 7 shirts, visited a farm, cooked (and eaten) food, slept a bit and put a few odds and ends in the loft. All in all a decent effort - and special thanks must go out to Mrs Birch, for not throwing a big mard during this important time. Since I last signed off: Iceland held out to Argentina, and got their deserved draw. They are in a tough group, but are a decent and likeable team, definitely more twists and turns to come in Group D - certainly Croatia vs Argentina in the second round of game becomes a big big game (Thursday 7pm). Peru, love them [see here for why], put in the performance of the tournament, with a display for pacey and gun...

What a cracking start the tournament has had. Following Russia's goal binge on Thursday, we've continued ticking along at >3 per game on average. Very nice thank-you very much. On Friday, after a blazingly troublesome week at work, I'd taken the wise decision to work from home in the afternoon. It's not something I can do very often in my job, so I lapped up the opportunity; pulling together stats and clearning down emails to the backdrop of Egypt vs Uruguay and Morocco vs Iran. I'd be saving my full attention of course for the big one in the evening (Spain vs Portugal). Egypt vs Uruguay was a bit of a disappointment. A below-par Suarez missed a couple of good chances before falling into his usual routine of feigning actual slaughter on the pitch. Cavani, his strike partner looked very dangerous through. The game petered towards a bore draw when Uruguay finally got a breakthrough at the death. I think they will improve. Then, one of my favourite types of fix...

It has begun. This morning I systematically disabled all means of accidentally finding out football scores. Every notification on my phone has been disabled (including messaging - sorry friends/family/child-minder). Likewise on the iPad. The Alexa device has a virtual sock stuffed in her mouth, and my workmates have been sternly warned.  The groundwork is done.  I even walked immediately out of a pub this afternoon, having spotted the existence of a screen showing football that I fully intended to watch, as live, from the very start. Discipline is what this tournament is all about. And so I've just finished watching Russia vs Saudi Arabia, on a delay which is to be my recipe for the tournament, essentially living about 7 hrs separated from reality. I am in my own World Cup time-zone and I love it.  Russia won their opening match at a canter, outperfoming KSA as comprehensively as Aida Garifullina outsang Robbie Williams in the opening ceremony. The...

Ok, hours before kick off here. It's probably time to lay down some predictions that will fail miserably: World Champs:  Brazil  - Not a left-field pick by any means, but they possess the depth in squad, variety of attacking talent, great form in qualifying under Tite, and also - sometimes unusual for Brazil - a talented goalkeeper and tight at the back. Layer on the fact that Neymar is rested and fit again... there's a lot to like about the Samba Kings.  Top Scorer: Neymar - for pretty much the same reasons. The icing on the cake Emerging Star: Mbappe - ok, he's already somewhat established, but he's still only 19. I think this could be the stage for the next Messi & Ronaldo to show themselves Implosion of the tournament: Spain - so, this isn't a prediction, as much as a fact. Toys out of the pram time & the coach is gone. Replaced in short order by a bloke who was signed by Sam Allardyce. Ronaldo & co await tomorrow. Coaching fail of the tour...

Another day, and another fantastic World Cup factoid. But this one has me dusting off the Puma Kings and thinking there’s still a chance that I can make the big time.... Group A kicks off in earnest on Thursday, followed by Egypt vs Uruguay on Friday. Now I haven’t seen much (read none) of Egypt’s warm up games, but learnt today that their first choice goalie - Essam El Hadary is 45 years old! (Forty five) (as in, five less than fifty). Fantastic stuff. The last goalie of this vintage was eating pies on the bench in the FA Cup.... It’s been a good few years since Egypt were last in the World Cup, and now I have trepidation that their campaign will collapse not at the twinge of a Mo Salah shoulder, but from a wiley Russian coach telling his strikers to “just kick it low, there’s no way he’s getting down to those”. I’m fairly sure this will be a World Cup record, eclipsing the youthful shimmy of Roger Milla by some distance. Poor Mo ..having what can only be described as a ridicu...

And so it is.... four years on from Brazil, and it's that time again. Hope, false hope, failure, Brazilian over-indulgence, German efficiency and downright hilarious haircuts. So much of the World Cup experience is a rinse, wash, repeat experience... albeit extremely enjoyable. This one feels a little different though, for another fantastic reason. Sure, 2014 was a year in which I was responsible for a small human, but at age 3, Andrew was a mere passenger in the experience. Fast forward four years, I now have 3 brilliant boys in the Crossling stable, and have just finished a 45 minute stint on the pavement of a car park at the local pharmacy watching my two older boys feverishly trading their Panini world cup stickers.... yes, delirium at the sight of that hard to find stadium, and downright Del Boy-tastic horse-trading the value of a shiny for a collection of random Saudi Arabia and Iranian players. (the going rate appears to be 5 players btw). Yes, it's official. I wil...

We're just days away from the start of the tournament now, and before my pre-tourney preparations turn to important issues such as managing necessary work-day radio silences, who to put a few quid on  and optimal wall-chart placement, I first need to share my thoughts about the squad. What a blessed relief it is to see a squad with no names on it that make me want to puke. Lazy, injured, smoking Wilshire? No, left out. Hapless Joe Hart? No, left out. Lallana flicking his hair on Nivea ads at half time? No, left out. Southgate has achieved something I thought impossible in modern football, he seems to have picked a likable squad! And at a time when I am somewhat hating the sport (see all Villa-related headlines in the past 3 weeks, and our general form since 2010 for reason why) So, let's hit this player by player: 1. Jordan Pickford - no real surprises here, he seems to have played his way into the first XI recently. I've not seen that much of him, but seems reliab...